One time, as a child, I was left behind on a bike ride, and I decided then that I would never knowingly leave someone else behind. I don’t live up to that ideal - but it is my direction, something to orient myself. It is an orientation. Thank you.

When I was a kid, I was definitely a nerd. I was a nerd to nerds, early on. I felt very put off by the popular crowd, you know. The popular crowd is what I called anybody who didn’t like me, come to think of it. Here’s something: In order to feel superior in some way, I decided that intelligence was the most important quality a human could have - better than good looks, for instance, or charisma. If a person didn’t emulate what I thought of as intelligent, I dismissed them wholesale as just another jock, cowboy, stoner, etc. Label, dismiss, repeat. I would actually sit around with my friends and imitate some jock by pretending we were retarded. You know - “Drrrrrruhhhrrh! - that’s you”, hand slapping sloppily against our chests. Can you imagine that? In the end I Left behind those that would leave me behind.

Preemption!

But now I know that intelligence is not the most important quality. Athleticism, for example, is as valuable to an individual as intelligence. The idea of having an innate quality that made me better than the people around me was bullshit. The trick was to put myself into someone else’s shoes and then take a moment to look back at myself. Try it: Put yourself into the shoes of the person that drives you most nuts and look through their eyes back at yourself. Imagine how they see you. If you sincerely do this, you will see that you are the same thing that they are - they are a you from a different angle - a different history, a different culture.

That isn’t to say what we think isn’t important. Or maybe it is to say that - but what we think isn’t unimportant either. What we think is just what we think - whatever we think, it is probably sufficient to maintain our life - our lifestyle - to own a history in this world. That’s true of everybody - the only failures are dead.

But I’m not here to pick on the dead. Best to let the dead lie, I always say - or at least I will from now on. Anyway, this is just something that I think. Nice to share.

Tags: living life, other people's shoes, social groups